Ladygodiva3465's Blog

ladygodiva3465 — Sat, 23 Jan 2010 12:57:47 +0000

Last night we made garlic burger patties (I ate it without a bun) and sweet potato fries. I’ll post pics of those gorgeous babies when I upload them.

About to go to work. A short day, but I don’t wanna go. I wanna stay home. Dustin works today too. I’ll probably run and walk the dogs before he gets home. Then we are going to Trader Joe’s later today to see what they might have for gluten and dairy free stuff.

I want a stay at home, curled up around each other, movie night tonight.

All I think about is my Chicago trip and now DC trip (in March!) and my motorcycle I’ll pay for in April. I want it all, and I don’t see why I shouldn’t get it. We get one life right? So why don’t we get all we want? I’m greedy like that.

rain rain rain

ladygodiva3465 — Fri, 22 Jan 2010 01:56:33 +0000

Home in the big armchair. It is cold and rainy outside. We just came back from the grocery store. We bought a sweet potato, minced garlic, dark chocolate, allergy free trail mix, donuts (for Dustin’s work), Kettle BBQ chips, and a cleaner for the stove.

I can’t believe how much my body has changed with no gluten or dairy in its system. Turning down the candy at work is hard, and not driving through and getting a burger on late nights is even harder. But my stomach has had no issues, and I am learning to control my food urges. Pllus I feel healthier than I have in awhile.

Tonight I decided to grill my chicken in red wine and crushed black pepper. It was so fragrant and juicy and good! I love curling up with my bowl of rice and chicken and watching My Name Is Earl. It’s been my ritual this week.

Tomorrow we are making something else. It’ll be nice to branch away from chicken.

I was grumpy this morning, and drove with a frown on my faace, rap music blaring. Well not all the way. I switched to some pensive Foo Fighters music when I pulled into work. My day was good though. I felt a lot like the director I’m supposed to be, handling responsibility. And my boss must be taking his meds or something because these past 2 days he has been a peach to work with. He called my curly hair gorgeous. Always a plus.

I think that’s it. Finally asked my co-worker if she could work that whole Saturday in February, so I can go to Chicago!!! I’m in the process of booking my tattoo appointment and everything. I can’t wait to see the Windy City again. Oh how I miss it. I well up at the thought of it, not t mention I cried on the plane from STL to Columbus when I saw it’s bright skyline in the distance. I am in love with that cold hearted, lonely city. Our love for such odd places is what makes us human. Only humans could love a surrounding like a city.

“brick by boring brick”

ladygodiva3465 — Wed, 20 Jan 2010 23:36:46 +0000

Work has been draining. Yesterday my boss was in a wretched mood and frustrated me SO MUCH, that I was relieved I could clock out and get a massage and whine to the massage therapist about it. Micheline is my go to person to vent to. Today he was super nice (took his meds, maybe?). I did my errands, did some filing, and rushed home in hail. I fed my doggies, changed into sweats, and made my dinner. I cut up a chicken breast and rolled it in paprika, oregano, sea salt, and pepper, and grilled it. Ate it on a bed of rice. YUM! I had an apple and a few gluten/lactose free cookies. I feel lighter, even when I eat to my fill. I still feel tired, but I can feel that changing. My skin has never felt healthier or so clear, I thank that to the Pevonia products I’ve been using.

I get frustrated sometimes because I feel stuck. I am dreaming about Tennessee like I can’t even believe. Money has been so tight here, and Ohio feels like it has nothing for me. I know a place is what you make it, and I do find a lot of good here. But I am living for our Chicago trip in February and DC trip in March. I just feel that Tennessee will have so much to introduce me to, I am so excited about the possibility of living in Nashville.

Today I was really good at my job. I had excellent conversations with the clients. Learned about one lady’s brain surgery. I love feeling connected to others, love remembering how big the world is outside of me and what I know.

SIGH.

Going to go work out, not too hard, since my shoulder is still hurting. Stay warm out there, reader. It is cold.

Partially vegan and gluten free cowgirl?

ladygodiva3465 — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 13:47:43 +0000

Last night, after pizza and ice cream cake, I was in so much pain that I could barely sit up on the couch as Dustin, his dad, grandma, and step-grandpa talked. I got a hat that his dad didn’t want anymore…it’s so cool! But I thought my insides were dying.

Can I be vegan and gluten free (but I’m still eating most meats) and still be a cowgirl? Because my dream of moving to Nashville and wearing cowgirl boots almost all the time and working in boutique or spa or bartending, and working to get through school down there, while eating barbecue and drinking beer all the time is still very strong. Oh my. This whole intolerance of mine is shaking me up.

My eating for awhile is going to be: banana for breakfast, almonds for lunch, and chicken and rice for dinner. Oh my.

“i like your lips like i like my coca cola, the way it pops and fizzes”

ladygodiva3465 — Mon, 18 Jan 2010 15:25:29 +0000

So after one or more slices of pizza tonight for Dustin’s Dad’s birthday dinner, I will be going gluten and dairy free, just to see if my stomach feels better. I found these cookies at the grocery store last night and they are pretty good. A little on the dry side, but good. And my stomach didn’t get unhappy afterwards.

The mac and cheese I had last night, however, kept me up. It’s getting to where cheesy and creamy, just looking at or smelling it, makes me want to throw up.

Dustin and I are doing pretty well. A lot of cuddling, we’re getting into a phase where we are more sexual again, and we kiss a LOT.

this is the break room when there are a lot of bored stylists (and one bored massage therapist)

Gonna go walk the dogs, make an appointment for my second tattoo online for the parlor in Chicago, and try to figure something gluten free to eat for breakfast. I promise it won’t be cookies. I think.

Fill me up, cheer me up

ladygodiva3465 — Sun, 17 Jan 2010 22:24:14 +0000

Walked the dogs, got a new (to us) stove, got a smoothie at a local health place, talked to the lady, and found out Dustin and I both may be suffering from gluten and dairy intolerance. So that is something to think about.

I want to move, I love life.

“Do I turn you on at all when I kiss you baby? Do I have your love? Am I still enough?”

ladygodiva3465 — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 22:44:08 +0000

I can be mean, I know that. I am irritable, I definitely know that. I get frustrated with routine, and I take it out on people I feel make me have routine. I get that, and I always apologize. But nights like now when I’m alone, and Dustin isn’t here, and I told him to take his time coming home, I get this sick feeling. I don’t like this about myself. And I hate my shoulder/neck pain I have. Ugh.

Desmo is barking incessantly outside. I think it’s because he’s afraid of the dark. I can’t let him in now, those muddy paws will drive Dustin insane. Although all I want is to cuddle with my doggies on the couch.

I feel worn out, and I don’t know why. I get 9 hours of sleep at least, I’ve been working out, I feel more awake and alive than ever. Just tired.

We are trying to go to Chicago in February for the International Motorcycle show. Exciting! I want to get my tattoo then. Saving for that trip, my motorcycle, and the money I give Dustin weekly sure leaves me with little left. But I like it. I don’t need a lot, I don’t like having much anyway.

Well, I texted Dustin telling him to come home. Hopefully he will soon and I can hold him long and hard and let him know he is loved. That poor boy. Taking so much crap from me. He must really love me.

Selfish Love

ladygodiva3465 — Thu, 14 Jan 2010 00:05:20 +0000

Do you ever have days where someone just pops into your head, perhaps stronger than they normally do? And you keep expecting that maybe it means they’ll be sending you a text or commented on your page on Facebook, or maybe, even cheesier, thinking about you in that moment? I was so confident today that since I couldn’t get this one person off my mind, that it meant I was going to be getting a text from a different state any second. Or that there would be a Facebook notification waiting for me that would make my random feeling make sense. And when none of that happened, I wondered if it meant that I had crossed his mind today.

What I can’t decide is if this is selfish, self indulgent thinking. Do we think like this to make it so we can get through? To humor ourselves so we don’t feel so lonely, so forgotten? Or do you think that sometimes we get connected to people even though we don’t mean to and don’t have much interaction with them? Do you think these random overwhelming feelings mean something? Or are they an over sensitive girl trying to make meaning out of something meaningless?

This also kind of goes into what I have been working on. Sometimes I feel loving towards people I feel aren’t apart of my life anymore. Instead of feeling lonely or jealous, I have decided to try and make that love constructive. It is only us, humans, who can make love selfish. Love is actually a wonderful thing that is meant to be felt and shared. So instead of feeling resentful or jealous or sad, I send out little thoughts, hoping that person is having a good day or feeling loved. When we try to keep a person to ourselves and think loving them is wrong, then we are depriving them-the world- of such a wonderful emotion! So that is what I’ve been working on.

http://dailycoyote.blogspot.com/

^^this is the book I’m reading, which started out as a blog I think. Love it. Check it out.

ladygodiva3465 — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 00:32:30 +0000

“You’ll have to point him out to me” the stylist said.

“I will…he can be socially awkward though” I said, as she walked back to the salon floor.

“Aren’t we all?” She grinned and walked away.

Half The Sky

ladygodiva3465 — Sun, 10 Jan 2010 17:01:53 +0000

Just finished reading “Half The Sky” at 2 in the morning. It was such an emotional journey, and I am so glad I read it. I feel that we, as Westerners, either accept the fact that female cutting, rape, prostitution, poverty, and sexism as a whole is just natural and a part of the culture in most developing countries, OR we don’t really think about it and only focus on the progress women have made in our own society (which still needs improvement, actually). After reading this book, the sufferings of women in Africa, Pakistan, or India felt so real that I couldn’t imagine I was going throughout my day unaware of how many women were suffering worldwide.

We, as a whole, are only as strong as our weakest link. And if so many women are still going through such primitive and disgusting acts of torture and discrimination, how can we ever feel that our work is done?

What I love most about this book is that I didn’t feel discouraged, I felt determined. The book is full examples of how women literally had every reason to feel beaten down and have no hope of a better situation. But they didn’t give up; some fought government, some bought village traditions, dealt with fates worse than we can even imagine, and they didn’t stop. They ended up changing their situation, changing laws, and changing traditions in their villages. There are charities and websites to check out listed throughout the entire book, and it ends with steps you can take right at this moment.

This website is one that I think is the coolest: www.kiva.org. Have $25 laying around? Make it useful, lend it to someone trying to improve their life, and their community, somewhere else.